OVERVIEW

ISSUES

Sex: Sex is any activity that one engages in for erotic pleasure or reproduction. Sex includes, but is not limited to, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, oral intercourse, manual manipulation of the anus or genitals, S&M play, mutual masturbation, solo masturbation, fantasy, cunnilingus, analingus, penetration with dildos, etc. Sex is still sex whatever the gender, orientation, preferences, or number of the participants.

Safe, Safer, and Unsafe :
"Safe Sex" is sex, which affords NO risk for disease transmission or injury. Fantasy, masturbation, hot talk, and non-sexual massage on healthy skin, for example, fall in this category.

"Safer Sex" is sex, which affords ALMOST NO risk for disease transmission or injury. When using effective barriers, vaginal/anal intercourse, cunnilingus/analingus, fellatio, and manual penetration all fall in this category.

"Unsafe Sex" is sex, which affords a HIGH risk for infection or injury. Anal or vaginal intercourse without a condom falls in this category.

For sex to be consensual, partners must heed each other's requests to slow down, back off, or stop. If you feel that your partner would not honor a direct request to stop doing something to your body, you might consider whether any sex with that person is "safe." Even when sex is consensual, it is important to be sufficiently sober, sane, communicative, and aware to effectively sense pain or danger and communicate that to a partner.

1) Safer sex is feeling safe with the person you are having sex with.
2) Safer sex is feeling safe enough to stay safe enough to leave at any moment.
3) Safer sex is feeling safe enough to communicate everything. If you do not feel comfortable, can you communicate that? If you do not know, what your     partner intends for you or expects from you, can you find out? If you want to know how often and even with whom they have had sex, do you feel     comfortable enough to ask?
4) Safer sex is caring about yourself so much that no one can make you do anything that you are not 100% comfortable doing.
5) Safer sex is knowing, what you are not 100% comfortable doing.
6) Safer sex is about knowing yourself so well that you can represent your needs at all times in all situations so that you do not put yourself in a situation of risk.
7) Safer sex is knowing how to say "no." It is knowing how to say, "I don't want to do this." It is knowing how to say, "Yes, there is peer pressure, but no, I'm     not playing."
8) Safer sex is knowing that you are no one's sexual playground to explore and exploit.
9) Safer sex is knowing that sex is not in your crotch, but in your head and in your heart.
10) Safer sex is recognizing alcohol and drugs as the intervening variables that affect your better judgment.
11) Safer sex is being able to listen to conversations about sex without laughing.
12) Safer sex is being able to look your partner in the face, and not look away.
13) Safer sex is a vibration, a craving for another person’s energy as much as his or her body.
14) Safer sex is knowing your partner's last name.

IMPERATIVE:
Allow yourself to enjoy safer sex. Develop a positive attitude towards safer sex that will enable you to escape the pressures of doing it without protection. Use your humor and imagination to develop new and exciting strategies for dealing with this new kind of sex.

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TEN CONFIDENCE TIPS
This 10-point guide will help ensure that you feel relaxed and confident about using condoms resulting in safe and enjoyable sex for both you and your partner.

1. Keep condoms handy at all times - they are not big, they weigh next to nothing, and you are be ready. Never find yourself having to rush out at the crucial     moment to buy condoms - at the height of passion you may not!
2. When you are buy condoms, do not be embarrassed. If anything, be proud. It shows that you are confident and responsible and when the time comes it will     all be worthwhile. It's fun (and less embarrassing!) to go shopping for condoms with your partner or a friend
3. When you buy your condoms, you will find there are all kinds of makes, shapes, thicknesses, and sizes available. Look for quality brands. This is not a place     to get cheap.
4. Talking with your partner about using a condom beforehand removes anxiety when making love. Knowing where you both stand before the passion starts will     make you a lot more confident.
5. If you are new to condoms, the best way to learn how to use them is to practice putting them on, by yourself. It does not take long to become a master.
6. It might be a good idea to keep your condoms handy. This provides easy access at the appropriate moment, and displays your intentions to practice safer     sex.
7. Make all the preparation count by always putting on your condom before you and your partner have penetrative sex. And for females, if you are carrying the     condoms, make sure your partner puts it on or else you can use female condom which can be inserted 8 hours prior to sex
8. If you feel that condoms interrupt your passion, then try introducing it into your lovemaking. It can be sexy if your partner helps you put it on.
9. Remember not to leave condoms lying around. Once a condom has been used, it should be disposed of properly by wrapping it in a tissue and putting it in     the garbage.
10. Remember condoms are the only contraceptives that also help protect you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including HIV, the     virus causing AIDS.

View correct Male condom wearing procedure (animated)
View correct Female condom wearing procedure (animated)

Tips for Great Safer Sex
Use of sufficient water based lubricant: Most penetrative sex or manual stimulation feels much better for both parties when sufficient lubricant is used. Lubricants also improve the efficacy rate of barriers. In general, water-based lubes are the most versatile.

Good Communication: There is not a substitute for being able to tell your partner during sex when something does not feel good, or when it does. There is not a substitute for actually asking for what you want, and for learning over time what your partner likes. Higher levels of communication on sexual matters will tend to increase both the pleasure and the safety of all involved. Furthermore, knowledge of your partner's fantasies will allow one to construct verbal/theatrical fantasies and hot talk for them during sex to heighten their pleasure. Many people find that it is easier for them to reveal their fantasies to someone else while they are being sexually stimulated. "Tell me your deepest fantasy or I'll stop moving my hand" works wonders with many folks.

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SEXUAL HYGIENE
Sex safety does not end with condoms... There are a few important tips to remember to make sex safer that are often not mentioned in the popular literature and media. Safer sex does not just entail wearing a condom, but also includes keeping clean, knowing what to avoid and making the right decisions.

Keeping clean
The body creates many hassles during sex for those looking to keep things safe. There are many fluids involved in sex -urine, feces, semen, vaginal secretions, saliva, and blood -fluids with which either partner can come into contact through the course of virtually any form of sexual activity. Many of these fluids are excellent carriers of disease, and should be handled with care. Here are some tips to keeping clean:
• Never have vaginal sex after anal sex without washing first. The feces carry many organisms that can infect the vagina, and can be transferred by a penis,   dildo, mouth, or finger like bee transfers pollen. Wash well or use a different condom to make sure you do not cause infection.
• Never share condoms, dildos, or sex toys. A condom should only be used once. If you do plan to use a sex toy or dildo that was used by someone else,   remember to wash it well with soap and water. If you are unsure, you can even use bleach to clean these items, and rinse them extremely well, or put a   condom over the object.
• Always wash well before anal sex. Anal sex is safer if you wash the anus and surrounding area with soap and water before having sex. It is also recommended   that you defecate (have a bowel movement) well before you begin.
• Always wash towels and bed sheets. Some STI`s (such as scabies) can be transmitted through fabric. Feces that may be washed off after anal sex can also   cause sanitary problems. Never reuse towels used to wash up after sex as a hand or face towel; just throw any towels straight into the laundry, or use tissue.

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BARRIERS
A barrier is any physical object that allows sex that would otherwise be unsafe to be safer or safe by preventing transmission of body fluids. Barriers discussed in this document include Male & Female condoms, gloves, and oral barriers (Dental Dams).

Positive Benefits of Safer Sex

Pleasurable
• Can become eroticized over time through association with pleasure
• Gives one greater peace of mind
• Can help penile/vaginal intercourse to last longer, if that is desired
• Allows greater comfort when penetrating an anus with a hand, and makes the practice of anal eroticism more attractive for some people

Practical
• Can provide additional protection against pregnancy for penile/vaginal Intercourse.
• Protects one from lethal diseases (such as HIV/AIDS), as well as from a range of others that, though non-lethal, are very annoying and very common.
• Keeps your sex toys clean.

Social
• Demonstrates courtesy and respect towards one's partner.
• Avoids awkwardness or embarrassment with new partners who practice safer sex exclusively.
• Allows one to "fit in" better into many sex-positive communities
• Frees one from having to depend exclusively on a partner knowing and telling you the truth about their disease status.